The Wrong Blessing.

So at St. Paul's, I am a Eucharist minister (EM). For those non-Catholics out there, basically, an EM helps facilitate the distribution of communion as to keep the mass under an hour and fifteen minutes so people can get a good seat at Bob Evans or mow down as many elderly people in the parking lot as possible. In Euclid, Ohio, at St. Robert church, at the 9:30am mass, Fr. Weber always presided over the 25 minute miracle. I loved that mass! Big digression. Anyways, when a person (often a child) has not officially recieved his/her First Communion Sacrament or feels at the time not in the right state to accept Communion, he/she often asks for a blessing. There are many stock blessings. For example, "May God bless you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." That is one of MANY!

My problem is that I never grew attached to one. So every time one of these people approaches me at mass, I use a different blessing. Two Sundays ago, this cute, pious child comes up with his arms crossed against his chest. That is a sign that this child wants a blessing. I put my hand on his shoulder and, instead of saying something reverent and meaningful, I, as is my custom, spoke words clear off the top of my head. I said, "God bless you, kid." I almost fell down in laughter. Kid?! The best I could do was, "God bless you, kid?!" I have no business serving this community.

Exciting New WTHDIK Development.

As you may have noticed, blog posts have become rather few and far between. I think I am averaging a sad 1.1 posts per week lately. This is due to many factors which I won't bore you with... at least not right now. The really good news is that I have found three other people, as equally as nuts as I, with whom to share this blog. What was a monarchy is now an oligarchy. So expect more posts. Turns out this is a blessing in disguise. Genuinely, these people are very good friends of mine and keep me laughing (or crying or interested or at least pleasantly annoyed) nearly all the time. Guaranteed, it will make the blog more enjoyable for all involved. You will probably recognize these new blog owners as they post comments often enough. All readers should still feel comfortable to comment. The comments are often (regrettably) better than the original posting. Plus, these people have thick-skin. That's like a requisite for friendship with me.

One sentence fragment per new blogger... ready.. go:

Mike. UCLA roomate, Lt Cpt in US Army, TP hoarder and lover of fine, aged, expensive cheeses and shalotts.

Sarah. Theist-secular humanist meets neo-pagan in a very diplomatic, get-to-know-me sort of way.

Bertie. Aspiring bureaucrat with a penchant for hypochondria and fine, American, convertible automobiles.

My New Motto.

My friends had me rolling with laughter. They've decided my new motto should be, "Life's too short." How not fitting is that?! When has life ever been to short for me? When you get upset about pie filling and rice pilaf or you consider the wasteful cost of 2-ply toilet paper, life can not be too short. As a matter of fact, perhaps it's just a little too long. Could you think of a less fitting montra?

What is wrong with me?

Complete Bullshit.

I'm struggling to contain myself.

The minimum wage in America apparently is at its lowest point in 50 years, indexed for inflation. And the fucknuts running our government do not see this as a travesty. Though recommended by a House committee, it is has been pledged to be removed before an actual vote. The fact is that this breaks down close to party lines, with the Republicans voting against an increase. But shame on the Democrats for only caring during this election year. Trying to balance the gay marriage thing, I guess.

And the biggest kick in the nuts is that these jackasses just raised their own salaries due to increased "cost of living" for the SEVENTH year in a row. That is the equivalent of an annual $3300 pay increase. Special shout-out to Rep. Jim Matheson (D-Utah) for being the ONLY MEMBER OF THE HOUSE to call this issue to the floor.

And to be clear, I appreciate the complexities of the minimum wage issue. But it takes balls to give yourself a raise while not giving those below the poverty line a raise as well. Congressional salary is around $180,000 depending on your role. That excludes ALL benefits (not to mention their own personal investments). Minimum wage salary is the equivalent of $10,712 (40 hours per week, 52 weeks per year) with no guarateed benefits. Wow.

Here is a new implementable plan I just made up. Seriously. I really do believe this. The "cost of living adjustment" in the Congressional and presidential salaries is to be proportional to the increase in the minimum wage in any given year. If the minimum wage is flat, then elected official salaries are flat. Likewise, if minimum wage increases by some percent, then so does the elected official salary. How is that idea not fair?

This is what happens when I live alone and read/watch the news. What good is a tyraid with no there to listen?

Big Weekend In Sports I Never Watch But Plan On Watching.

Two events that never really registered on my radar before.

The French Open. When I was younger, I played tennis mildly competitively. For a few summers, I played almost every weekend with a friend. I even entered a tournament once (I lost in the first round). During those summers, I would even tune into the major tennis tournaements... US Open, Wimbleton, etc. This French Open finals (on Sunday) is going to be huge. Rafael Nadal, a young Argentine player, has a 59 match winning streak on clay courts. Roger Federer, from Switzerland, has a 7-0 record in Grand Slam finals. Plus, this is first time in a long time that the number 1 and 2 seeds will appear in a Grand Slam final-- Federer currently ranked number 1.

The World Cup. The World Cup started this Friday. The US has its first match on Monday against the Czech Republic. I will be the first to admit that I know next to nothing about soccer. (I do know I will never call it football). I get the basic idea... but as for the rules, forget it. But I plan on learning a little through observation this time around. After reading a little bit about the tournament and teams, I'm sort of getting it. Teams are broken into groups of four. You must emerge as the leader or runner-up in your group to advance to the bracket. The US has its work cut out! There are three top 12 teams in the group (i.e. Czechs 2, Americans 6, Italians 12). And apparently, Ghana is a young, athletic team. There is something about international tournaments that is exciting. Maybe it's nationalism. Maybe it's comradery. I feel the same way about the Olympics.

Mr. Nissan.

I was hanging out with friends, namely Jason and Carrie and their kids Camille and Asa. We decided to walk from their house to the Encore Cafe for some dessert. Camille, their three year old daughter, ordered a huge rice krispy treat. On the way home, she was holding the "treat" as she would call it. The cellophane wrapper was becoming a nuisance, so she chucked it. Shoot, if I were sitting in that stroller with my krispy treat, I would've consider doing the same. But being considerate parents, Jason and Carrie told her to not throw waste on the ground. Before Jason could walk into the street and pick up the wrapper, a gentleman driving a new, shiny black Nissan sedan was passing through the intersection. He slowed and conspicuously steered his car around the cellophane wrapper. WTF was he doing? Talk about an overreaction. It's not nuclear waste, buddy! Whatta jackass.

Lighter.

I feel so free. Today, I accomplished the twice annual gutting of the closet space. I bag all the clothes I have not worn or touched in a year and donate them to the Good Will center. Two whole bags, people! I seriously recommend this to everyone. I can't describe the feeling. I feel light as a feather. I look in that closet and get such a sense of satisfaction. Less is definitely more.

Now if my mom participated in this semi-annual event, she could share my feeling. Of course, two whole bags would be the equivalent of throwing a lawn chair off the Queen Mary. But still.