My Privilege (a la Jonathan Swift)

This past weekend, I was in Florida with some friends. In order to get to Ft. Lauderdale, I had to hop an airplane. My first flight since the "No liquids, gels or aerosols" rule.

I want to know one thing. When did my privileged status as a white male disappear? Since when did society renege on the promise of unfair, preferential treatment for the white man? For years, I have enjoyed a place of undo, inappropriate yet inexplicably advantaged status simply due to my European skin and Y-chromosome. What am I to do now? What about my needs? What about my wants and desires? What about the treatment to which I have grown accustomed? What ever happened to fairness and inequality?

I used to walk right on through any security checkpoint. The officials would say, "Excuse me, sir," or "After you, sir." Whatever happen to the good ole days of profiling? One spring break, I took a trip to London with some buddies. At Heathrow, I walked right through security as Amit, my Indian friend, was stopped and searched. Thoroughly. For no reason. Now, I have TSA officials confiscating my deoderant, my toothpaste and my gel. Yes, I packed it. Yes, I ignored the signs. I'm a white male. I'm privileged. And get out of my way!

But no. And to make matters worse, Amit travels constantly, as businessmen tend to do, and he never gets searched. Now, I have become the victim. A victim of institutionalized unequal inequality. From this day forward, I carry my torch for all the downtrodden, white male majorities of the world. We will not fall to the tyranny of justice. We will not go quietly into the night as our unfair advantage is replaced with reason and common sense. No.

What next? A woman president? Sheesh.