Anyone have the number for Sotheby's?

So, the other night, the nuns, Kirstin, and I are sitting down to a lovely homemade dinner (benefit of living in a convent: food not from a can!).

Anyway, we're chattin' it up and I make some cultural reference to the MTV "Newlyweds Show".

"What's that?" asks everyone in unison, and then I remember that these are middle-aged nuns. Forgiven. Thirty-year old Kirstin also has no idea what I am talking about, but she is a little earth-lovin', compost-diggin', natural-buildin' hippie, so I understand... and, frankly, am a little envious. I mean, wouldn't all of our lives be better if we had never heard of Jessica Simpson or Chicken of the Sea controversy of '03?

Sympathetically-- and apologetically-- I try to bring the baby boomers (and Kirstin) up-to-speed. "Oh, Newlyweds is a dumb reality television show that plays on MTV. You know, now that MTV doesn't play music videos anymore".

And then, Kirstin makes a comment that causes me to actually snort my water. Snort. My. Water.

"I don't think I have ever seen a music video".

What? WHAT?!!! A member of generation X who has never seen a video-- ever?!! That seems possible only under one of two conditions:

1. Kirstin grew up in a developing country without electricity.
- Nope. She grew up in rural Minnesota (so kind of close), but did have running water, tooth paste, and tv. (I confirmed this with her)

2. Kirstin is amish.
- She isn't.

Only logical conclusion: Kirstin is lying... or just really forgetful.

I try to jog her memory. "Oh, yes you have. Nearly-naked women gyrating their hips while sippin' on gin and juice? Men made up to look like they are not made up standing knee deep in a river lipsyncing to a cheesy love song?".

Blank stare.

Kirstin has never seen a music video.

At first, I am honestly appauled. Didn't her small town write to their cable company, informing the network leaders, "I want my MTV"?!!!

My second thought, though, is "Cha-Ching"!!! Suddenly, I am compelled to grab Kirstin by the hand and drag her to the Antiques Road Show to find out what I could get for her at auction. I mean, really, a non-amish, non-Taliban sighted thirty-year old American who has never seen a music video?!!! She must be the last one on the planet!!!!

As I am counting my dollars and determining the appropriate salary (and commission) we should ask of Barnum & Bailey, Kirstin looks at me with her innocent eyes and asks, "Will you show me a music video?".

Friends, I face a moral dilema. What is the right thing to do? Do I bring her into the millenium (the last millenium) and give her a common experience with her peers? And if I do, which videos need to be included within our tutorial? I mean, obviously, "Video Killed the Radio Star", "Thriller", and "Take on Me", but what else? Could she really handle Madonna and cone bras, NIN, and Marilyn Manson?

Or, is the better choice to leave her in her video-virginal innocence, sheltering her from the reality of boy bands, choregraphed street dance sequences, and Paula Abdul?

Friends, help me. What would Socrates do?