Moving.

Saturday was the big move for two of my good friends, Sarah and Bertie. Truthfully, I blocked off the entire weekend for this project. Had you met Bertie and Sarah, you probably would've done the same thing. I even made two surprise inspections Friday night, mostly to be a pain the ass, but also to make sure appropriate progress, as I define it, was being made. I am proud to report more than appropriate progress was made. The bulk of packing was done before midnight. In my book, that is amazing. I'm usually a last minute packer anyhow.

On Saturday at 8am, the move commenced. Apparently, the U-haul people were being difficult with Sarah. Sarah and Bertie wanted a 14 foot truck for 24 hours. The U-haul lady said, "You will have a 10 foot truck for 4 hours." Gotta love a jerk who can make such definitive statements. I love people like that. Of course, Sarah cooked up her own response to this U-haul lady. In good taste, Sarah didn't deliver this response directly to her. She just told us what she would've or wanted to say later. "10 foot truck. Fine. 4 hours. Fine. And fuck you." No one does exasperated better than Sarah (except for me).

Regardless, I think the 4 hour time limit actually helped us. (Just to piss Sarah off, Bertie and I decided there was a 2 hour time limit. So all our countdowns would coincide with the 2 hour instead of the real 4 hour limit. I would shout, "55 minutes left!" Sarah would roll her eyes and say, "Until the 2 hour mark, right?") We finished with some time to spare. Enough time to get some of Sarah's things over to her brother's house for storage. One of my favorite moments was sitting in the car with Sarah as we follow the U-haul truck. Sarah was getting frustrated because we seemed to be taking a longer route. She kept saying, "It's 99 cents per mile!"

Amazingly, everything fit into two 6'x6' storage units. This is especially amazing for Bertie. It turned out Sarah actually didn't have that much stuff. A couple odd shapes, like a futon, an end table, etc., made the storage unit look artificially full. But Bertie's unit is full. Andy, Sarah's brother, and I moved a fully loaded filing cabinet. I tried to step-up onto the truck while holding my end of the cabinet. I felt like I was dragging a Steinway piano to the summit on Mount Kilimanjaro. The best part is to hear the defense of every piece of paper in that cabinet. I also moved a set of 10 pound dumbells that were stuck in a backpack, as if that is all the disguise these dumbells needed. Then again, judging from the size of Bertie's guns, I'd say those dumbells make great door stops. Bertie also wanted to save her childhood dresser. Apparently, this dresser was endearing because the lining of the drawers was bicentennial liner paper with patriotic images. Bertie claims, "The little 'clink' noise of the metal handles was the soundtrack to her life." O brother.

All in all, the move was a success. And I'm sure you will hear more regarding this in the comment section.