Emergency.

I was in a public restroom... you know alot of good stories start with this openning, right? So in the restroom, I was drying my hands and I looked at the paper towel dispenser. There was a little red dial on the side. It said, "Emergency towel dispenser." I almost passed out. Apparently, you can swivel this little red dial and get paper towels. Great. I hate paper towel jams as much as the next guy. But the label seemed a little incendiary. Big red letters... EMERGENCY! "Quick... GET THE PAPER TOWELS! It's an EMERGENCY!!"

I'd suggest something more measured like... a little placard that states, "If paper towel dispenser jams, turn dial."

I should run the world.